A problem with anxiety

By Mike Moritz

I have had anxiety problems in the past, I have them in the present and I will probably have them in the future. The anxiety can be so bad sometimes that it paralyzes me to seemingly no end, mainly on the baseball field. I have been prone to holding up my swing on 3-1 fastballs down the middle, the exact pitch I was looking for. And when those at bats end badly, you'll be lucky to see me return to the dugout and NOT throw my bat and slam my helmet.

Since receiving mental rehabilitation over the winter (therapy), I have made great strides to new heights, but I'm not there yet. I am not quite where I want to be but I will get there in time and patience is THE virtue here.

I have learned how to breathe, I've learned how to force myself to breathe when the anxiety tightens up my chest. I can slow the game down now. Seeing things happening is something that I can do now while self talking myself into good things, into making a smart play has become pretty natural to me now.

I have been having problems in the field lately, which happened to be a result of my coach, who tends to put pressure on his players and I let my guard down and let him in my head.

But the anxiety does not stop there.

I have a person in my life that I can't seem to stop stressing about. For the first time, I am having legitimate anxiety problems with...my social life. More so, my love life.

Anxiety is a monster, just like it's brother, Fear. And it grows and grows until you start saying things that you just couldn't quite keep in your head. I need to get up and do something, but most of the time, I don't know what I want.

Sometimes I do know what I want-a kiss- and it nags and nags as if it's eating away at my well being. And it grows until I can't sit in class anymore, to the point where one or two deep breaths won't ease it for the time being. I need to remove myself from class, "Mrs. Robbins, can I go to the bathroom?" and find myself not even entering the bathroom. Rather, just finding some place quiet and peaceful, just to breathe, just to slow everything down.

And it works, that's why the human body is so amazing.

Sometimes I can get the opportunity to listen to music during class and I can almost throw the anxiety out just by connecting with music that I love.

Slowing everything, especially in fast moving situations is something that we all have to ability to do and it is our duty, we owe it to ourselves to do breathe and relax our soul, body and mind.