By Mike Moritz
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The second game in a row that he was in the lineup, something to build off of, to work with. He had been hitless in his last nine at bats but he didn't notice it. He just kept on playing the game with liberty and always sticking to the game plan, his game plan that had been keeping him afloat. Just months before he would have freaked out at 0-8; perhaps it would've stretched to 0-18 and 1-23 like it had the summer prior. But he didn't notice it. He was aware, but did not feel the frustration of wanting to look at is. He didn't care for it. He was playing for the moment each at bat, the pitch right here, right now. As long as he was sticking to the game plan, there was no rage and anger. There was no need to throw or slam a helmet or bat. He just didn't feel like he had to after a ground out. A simple "damn" would do for him, only to lead him to his next focus, whatever it may be- fielding or base running. The game plan was critical; the visualizing, self talk, self affirmation. The focus, the mental sharpness and most importantly, the breath. The meditation that kept not just his competitive side in check, but his entire life from bowing down before the anxiety that was always searching for the spark to ignite itself.
The pitchers front foot lifts up and he takes his step and loads his hands for the ensuing first pitch of his first at bat. His foot lands on time and his body- and mind- is now cleared for the swing as the ball moves closer to the plate on a 4-seam line with the slight movement away that seemed to be created by the comfortable breeze moving across the field. His hands follow the path that he engraves into his brain 300 times a day and his swing begins to level out as his legs form the base by which he turns his hips violently off of. His form arms and core start to take over the swing and whip the bat head through. Bat meets ball; fouled straight back like a bullet with a little extra ADD. Just missed it.
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I figured that life many different parts to it. I can imagine three main aspects of one's life in the form analogies and I hope that you think differently so as to continue to create more and deeper ideas.
The first analogy is a castle. Or in more artsy terms: Your Castle of Nostalgia.
In here, your memories are held tight to your heart- the ones you remember vividly like they happened yesterday or just a few hours ago when in fact they actually happened way back in 2004 at Keewaydin Dunmore.
I remember something from that summer; I was eight years old and I went to Keewaydin in Salisbury, Vermont, which I would continue to attend another seven years after that first one. As rest hour ended on another TKD (Typical Keewaydin Day- AKA great weather), we all gathered to the fire pit where we sat on one huge bench in the shape of a circle around the fire ring. Tim Hoffman, the director of the age group- Annwi- whose beer belly was starting to get a little too big to be called a beer belly anymore, stood up and starting listing the activities for the afternoon in his big, deep beer-belly voice. The afternoon glare was shown on him from the water behind and as soon as he finished reading the activity list- "sailing with Josh Martin, canoeing with Tyler and dramatics with Patrick Wade"- fire works went off seemingly on cue from across the water. Tim Hoffman put his arms up and yelled "I am so fucking awesome!!" to the surprise of all us 8-9 year old campers. A moment in camp that I will never forget mainly for the outright and utter bewilderment that I went through.
That's the memory that belongs here. And if you could describe the memory so well that you feel you could paint it, then it's perfect.
But life isn't just memories and while all ideas and even more than that, all five of our senses, comes from previous life experiences, to live in the past is to depress your present and future self.
So take the time to imagine your life with stages stage. There are in fact at least a couple of stages in your life. And when I say stage, I don't mean a phase, I mean a literal- figurative stage. As if a stage in an auditorium. And on your multiple stages are the things that are important to you.
You have the stage by which you value your family, friends, love the for the environment around you and personal health as well as health for the general people you love. Name it whatever you want but you'd better have it- one who does not have that stage in their life is lost because it goes no direction to those that you love.
Another stage that is important to have is the stage that you take the time to observe the passions that you have in your life- which I hope are healthy passions. Art, sports, going on walks, cooking, camping, swimming in rivers and lakes, laying down on the grass and letting earth's energy flow through you directly, finding a quiet place or looking for a better piece of New York pizza than the pizza you just ate at the closest corner pizzeria (hard to choose, right?). This is the stage that is not for family and friends. It's the stage that you put your own things on. And today I take the time establish what it is that is on that stage.
As I try to solve the mystery of baseball in my life, I realize that I should be taking the time to appreciate those that offer me happiness. For two full years baseball has been the only thing on my stage and the only thing that I take the time to put into.
Psychology, astronomy, camping, going on hikes, Keewaydin, swimming in rivers, super hero movies (seems a little out of place here, hehe) and listening to music! All things that I love! Baseball is not alone anymore as I have made the move to take more time in my life to do the things that I appreciate.
You don't have to do anything. Don't feel the obligation to keep on doing something if you sense that there are more things that will make you happier. We are all surrounded by positive energy. There's a reason that trees have branches and leaves; a tree with just a trunk is bored- one dimensional- the branches give it different parts that make it interesting and the leaves give the branches something to show off, which is what you should do to yourself- show off to yourself. Show yourself to the things that you love doing and not just one of them.
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He sat on the gray bench on a gray day on a gray boat. He'd been riding the ferry for a half hour now and it almost seemed like this ferry had become a place of "in between" for him. The clouds and light rain were enough to keep everyone inside except for him. He liked being outside, alone, taking time for himself.
And he watched it move back and forth behind the boat. He saw it in his imagination. Anxiety washing up and back as the boat moved swiftly through the water and the propellers left it chasing after him. Back and forth it went. He felt it coming up on him, and washing back. It would vanish and then come on stronger than before, only to fall back once again.
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